Civility: Inappropriate Questions to Ask People
There’s a way to try to get to know someone without asking intrusive inappropriate questions. Give your friendship time to progress. Some answers to your curiosity will follow in time. Let the information come forward within the natural progress of the conversation or relationship.
Too many people are quick to ask indiscreet personal questions. Before asking a personal question, you should stop and think long enough to consider whether or not the question will embarrass, hurt, or make the other person uncomfortable. Being civil towards one another resides in you exercising discretion. Don’t appear to be eager to take the cover off someone else’s private business.
Although you may not use someone’s private information to gossip, it doesn’t make your line of questioning any less intrusive. Also, seeking permission to ask an inappropriate question doesn’t make it any less intrusive. So, before you ask someone, “May I ask you a personal question?” ask yourself, “Will this person really want to share that much information about themselves with me?” If you’re a person that’s going to repeat what they tell you, more than likely they know it and will not want to tell you, so don’t ask.
A List of Inappropriate Questions
A lot of people have parts of their lives that they do not want open for public view. So, privacy-probing questions like the ones below can be embarrassing or upsetting:
- Why are you so pale?
- What size are you?
- What political party do you represent?
- Is that all your hair or is it a weave?
- Are your eyes really that color?
- Are you buying your home or renting it?
- How much is your rent or mortgage?
- How did you lose your property?
- Are you buying that car or leasing it?
- How much is your car note?
- Who did you vote for?
- What are you going to the doctor for?
- What kind of surgery did you have?
- Why haven’t you and your boyfriend got married yet?
- Why did you break-up or get a divorce?
- How much money do you make?
- How old are you?
- How did you lose your job?
“Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.”
–Robert Newton Peck
A List of Civil Responses to Inappropriate Questions
How are you to respond to questions you feel are intrusive? You are to respond in a civil manner. But, that doesn’t mean you have to tell your private business. Whenever your privacy is threatened, here are some responses you can use to defend your privacy:
- I’d prefer not to answer that.
- Pause, smile and say, “I’m not going to answer that question.”
- I don’t feel comfortable talking about that.
- That’s not something I want to get into right now.
- This is not a good time to talk about that.
- I’d prefer not to discuss my personal business.
- I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you need to know that.
- That’s something I like to let others decide for themselves about.
- Give a vague answer, end with something positive, and divert the conversation back to them. For example, we had issues that we couldn’t overcome and things are better this way. So, how are things with you?
- I had an unforeseen situation that occurred, but I’m working on getting back what I loss.
Every encounter of inappropriate questions comes with its own polite deterrent responses.
Copyright © 2017
Leave a comment below to share your thoughts about this article.
If people would only stop and think before speaking it would be less bad manner expressed. Think about how you would feel if such a question was presented to you.
Thanks Maurice for your comment, which is so true. Many of us experience rudeness every day and don’t know how to respond or respond in a rude manner. My goal is to inform people that rudeness doesn’t have to beget rudeness. We can be assertive and civil at the same time.
Hello Chandra,
I love this article! I feel like most people should put themselves in the other parties shoe. Would you appreciate the question you’re asking if you were the receiving it. If the answer is no, then don’t say anything.
Unfortunately, rude people are everywhere and we can’t change the world. The only person we can change is ourselves and try our best to educate those after us(:
Great article!
Kind Regards,
Eric
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Thank you so much for letting me know how much you enjoyed the article. Please share the article on your social media sites, if you have any. Someone else may benefit from it. If you haven’t already done so, please enter your email address at the bottom of any article and you’ll receive an email notification when I post something new. Also, you can follow me on Twitter. If you have a Facebook account, send a request to join my group called “Choose Happiness and Civility” and you’ll find some additional helpful information that I posted on the topic of Emotional Intelligence. Enjoy your day/evening!
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Thank you for taking the time to let me know how much you liked the article – much appreciated! Please share the article on your social media sites, if you have any. Someone else may benefit from it. If you haven’t already done so, please enter your email address at the bottom of any article and you’ll receive an email notification when I post something new. Also, you can follow me on Twitter. If you have a Facebook account, send a request to join my group called “Choose Happiness and Civility” and you’ll find some additional helpful information that I posted on the topic of Emotional Intelligence. Enjoy your day/evening!
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Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect
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wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?
Many thanks!
Hi, I’m glad that you liked the blog. Regarding my personal writing tips, I decide on a topic, then I read books and articles on that subject. Next, I decide on 3-5 sub-topics. Based on the information that I’ve read, I formulate my own way of expressing what I’ve learned. For example, I’ve studied stress management. If I want to write about that topic, I may have the following sub-topics and go into details about each one (i.e., meditation, visualization, and health and wellness). For the introduction, I may give an example of a time when I felt stressed. Next, I may discuss the negative effects of stress on a person’s body and the benefits of managing stress. Then, I may go into the stress management strategies that I routinely use and why. In conclusion, I may do a summary to recap the purpose for writing the article. Last, I’ll give a call to action. One single-spaced page document is sufficient. I hope this helps.
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Thank you for taking the time to let me know how much you liked the blog – much appreciated! Please share the article on your social media sites, if you have any. Someone else may benefit from it. If you haven’t already done so, please enter your email address at the bottom of any article and you’ll receive an email notification when I post something new. Also, if you have a Facebook account, send a request to join my group called “Choose Happiness and Civility” and you’ll find some additional helpful information that I posted on the topic of Emotional Intelligence. Enjoy your day/evening!
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Thank you for taking the time to let me know how much you liked the blog – much appreciated! Please share the article on your social media sites too, if you have any. Others may benefit from it as well. If you haven’t already done so, please enter your email address at the bottom of any article and you’ll receive an email notification when I post something new. Also, you can follow me on Twitter under the name “Coach_Chandra.” If you have a Facebook account, send a request to join my group called “Choose Happiness and Civility” and you’ll find some additional helpful information that I posted on the topic of Emotional Intelligence. Enjoy your day/evening!
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People love to talk a lot !
Yes, they do. It becomes a problem when people appear to be eager to take the cover off someone else’s private business. When the bond between two people is weak, the person being asked the personal questions (e.g., Jane Doe) knows that if she responds with an answer that opens the door for gossip, that information is going to be repeated by the other person (e.g., Joe Doe). Which may result in Joe Doe having just reduced his chances of ever really getting to know Jane Doe, because he has given Jane Doe the impression that he’s a busy body. With that in mind, it’s important to practice not asking people intrusive questions and just having friendly relaxed chit-chat with them. When a person is ready to share personal information with you, you will not have to ask. Being civil towards one another resides in us exercising discretion.
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Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog
that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for
quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with
something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
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I don’t know of any widgets you could add to your blog. I’m glad that you enjoyed reading my blog.
Nice blog here! Additionally your website a lot up fast!
What web host are you the usage of? Can I get your associate link in your host?
I want my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol
Hi, thank you! I use Hostgator.com