3 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People
Our ability to deal with difficult people has an impact on our happiness and success in life. It doesn’t take a special skill to deal with nice positive-minded people. The strong point of your personality and ability to communicate well in a competitive setting is really demonstrated in the way you deal with difficult people. So, how are you to respond when dealing with people who are short-tempered, irritable, angry, speaking against you, or worst of all, people who don’t have good intentions towards you?
Tip 1
The first thing you want to do is not let other people’s negativity affect you. Make a conscious effort to keep your cool. The less reactive you are, the better your judgment will be in handling the situation. There’s an old saying, “People can’t tell who the fool is when two people are arguing.” So, don’t feed the fire by arguing.
Tip 2
When you feel angry or very upset with someone, before you say something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. In most cases, by the time you reach ten, you will have figured-out a better way of communicating your response, so that you can deescalate, instead of escalating the tense situation. If you’re still angry or very upset after counting to ten, excuse yourself from the situation if possible, and discuss the matter later with the person after you’ve calmed down.
Tip 3
In some situations where you’re unable to excuse yourself, it’s best to stay quiet, take deep breaths to calm yourself down, and just listen closely to what is being said. When you do say something, remember one of the best communication tools to take control of any negative situation is to ask questions. At a time like this, you don’t want to try to win the conversation being exchanged or attack the person’s point of view with a belittling comment, because that’ll just worsen the situation. Just simply ask questions in a non-threatening way and be genuinely interested in the person’s response and what he or she is thinking. For instance, you might ask, “Do you have a reason why you feel that way or think that’s true?” or “Where did you get that information?” or “How did you find that out?” Sometimes people have a good reason for why they do things the way they do and sometimes they have misunderstood some information they received or an observation they encountered.
Whatever the circumstance may be, maintain your composure by taking in deep breaths, don’t respond too fast without thinking, and ask questions and it will put you in control of the situation.
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Leave a comment below to share your thoughts about this article.
I completely agree how self talk causes answers in my life and how things happen to me. When I speak to myself in a negative way, saying phrases that I have repeated unconsciously for a long time, I see that the result is not good. A few months ago I proposed to only tell me the positive of me and everything around me, try to avoid telling me negative phrases and really works. The pains are minor, worries also decrease and I smiled more with myself. Thank you for the tips
Thanks a lot for your comments Olga. They are much appreciated. Your comments remind me of the quote I read in the book, “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen which says that a man’s mind maybe likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life.
I strongly agree. We don’t have time for all that negative energy and it just brings us down and everyone around us. Not to say it is easy for some to do. I like the positivity it brings in your article. The website is so vibrant as well and adds to more energy to your topic.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article Charlotte. I think it’s important for people to elevate their social antennas in order to perceive other people’s moods, attitudes and feelings correctly. By doing so, we can build better relationships with people.
It takes a lot of energy to push away the negative outbreaks that come towards us. This was an awesome insight into helping us cope with that situation. I really like the website theme brings a lot of positive energy just being here.
At times we need simple, practical guidance when we are feeling defensive. Such an aura of peace and positivism on this site. I really enjoyed this post; thank you!
Thank you Terri. I’m glad that you enjoyed the article. Offering strategies and techniques to help people handle challenging situations in a way that brings about a more desirable outcome is important to me. I’m going to be adding some new features to my website over the next year, so check back on my website from time-to-time for a dose of positivism (smile). Enjoy your day!
Hello Chandra,
Great tips on dealing with difficult people! As a matter of fact, I deal with them every single day in the car business. I always train my sales consultants to NOT argue with the customers. Whatever they request just tell them you will try because arguing will get you no where.
I especially like your example of, “People can’t tell who the fool is when two people are arguing.” This is very true and that’s why you don’t put fire with fire because it creates a larger fire haha.
Thanks,
Eric
Thanks a lot Eric for posting your thoughts about this article. You give your sales consultants the best training advice. Arguing with a customers can create a domino effect of negative consequences. For instance, (1) if the customer reports his displeasure about the sales consultant’s behavior to a supervisor, the supervisor may give the sales consultant a write-up, (2) now the sales consultant is in a really bad mood, which could lead to getting into arguments with people while driving home, and (3) when s/he gets home to their family, s/he starts fussing and complaining about any and everything out of frustration over the bad happenings of the day, turning what should be a relaxing time to a chaotic evening for all involved. These negative consequences could have been avoided, if the consultant had maintained emotional self-control and used words that deescalated the situation instead of escalating it.
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